This is My Garden

To help celebrate National Garden Month 2006, we've invited our visitors to share their garden tales with us. We hope you'll find inspiration in their stories and appreciate the pride of your fellow gardeners.

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In Loving Memory - Donna A.

In Loving Memory of Jonathan E.Holliday
8/03/1990 - 10/18/2004

I started my memorial garden February and at the time had no idea how it was to turn out. Jimmy my best friend and fiance helped me get started and with direction of the garden. He landscaped the pond (which became the focal point of Jonathan's memory garden) and I choose, planted and maintained all the of the beautiful flowers and greenery.

Every day I would go outside and dig, dig and dig until I had callused palms and dirty fingernails. Every blister I developed and every bead of sweat that dropped from my body helped me thru the gut wrenching pain of losing my son. I would for hours dig holes and then fill them up. I was digging away the pain and planting seeds for hope one day.

For me the garden turned out to be the best alternative therapy. The garden became a necessity in my life, next too needing air, food and water. Without it, I felt like a wilting flower broken and just barely surviving. The more I worked in the garden the further along I climbed this mountain of grief. The more holes I filled with colorful and bright pretty flowers, the lighter this enormous load felt on my heart broken and shattered world.

I dug and planted what were once bare empty spots, and filled them with beautiful flowers. Filling in these bare places in my yard seemed to repair and fill the gaping, and immense holes of emptiness and loneliness I felt inside. Seeds of hope I planted from this earth shattering experience.

After many months, I realized that something new and positive happened each day and that the " little things in life" really are not little, they are actually big. Simple acts of stopping and smelling the flowers and looking at the beauty around us, sharing little moments with our children and loved ones are the important things in life.

Also the connection with my garden seemed to bring a closer spiritual connection with my son. It gave me time to sort thru all the memories we had together and all the tomorrows we will never have. I will always be thankful for the yesterdays and will cherish and treasure each moment Jonathan and I had together. The seasons of grief are not over for me, they have just begun and each season will bring a different journey.

The garden will be my prayer that I will dig, pull, plant and water daily. It will help me come to terms with the future and maybe see a warm ray of sunlight thru the thick dark clouds of losing a child.

Written by Jonathan's Mom
Donna




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